well...

I went to the doctor last week. I'm a very strong person, and sometimes I find it hard to admit when I need help. So, going in there to tell someone that isn't super close to me what's going on was hard. But I did it. And after lots of crying and talking, my doctor decided to put me on some medication for the time being. At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about that. 3 years ago, I was diagnosed by a different doctor as Manic-Depressive. I did do the medicine for awhile, but felt like God had delivered me from that dark place. Which I know He did! I have never been in that place before, in fact, this place feels much different. He called it Postpartum Depression. So, I have been taking the medication for a week now. I know it takes awhile to start feeling a difference, but man, I wish it would hurry. The only difference I feel is even more tired at the moment. I am still only sleeping a couple hours at night, which is better than none. But i am so tired! I do feel like if I get up and make myself do things, it gets better. I was never in an extremely dark or dangerous place, but I definitely felt like if I didn't get help soon I would be there. The anxiety I feel can be crippling, meaning, I can't do anything but lay in the bed and breathe. So, I'm trusting my doctor, and my God to heal me of this and get me where I wanna be. It's so hard to feel weak when you want to be strong. But I do know I serve the Healer and I'm believing that. 

On to miss Harper=) wow, she has become miss chatterbox lately. Saying "dadadada" and all sorts of little things. It's so cute and getting much louder in this house. I feel like she is trying to really talk to me now. And we are working on sitting up! And she is doing great, just a little more time and she'll be doing all the time on her own! We are down to 4 bottles a day, 1 jar of baby food, and oatmeal at night. She is growing soooo fast! I can't believe she will be 6 months old on the 27th! Time has flown by!  

So, thats all for now. Just keep me in your prayers.