So, I have been thinking hard if I wanted to blog about something I have been going through or not. After I thought more about it, I thought maybe someone could give a little insight on this situation.
For the last month or more, I have been dealing with some major anxiety and what felt like mild depression. I'm not even sure why. I really am happy in my marriage and with my kids. I have had some issues in other relationships in my life, but mainly, everything is going great! I haven't had the energy for anything and have been extremely on edge, which anyone who is a parent knows is not good with kids. I haven't "lost control", but have felt very close to it. I thought that it was just the time of year with so many birthdays and Christmas, plus the stress of an infant. But a few days ago, I had the worst panic attack I have ever experienced. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. And I was terrified for no reason! I thought that something really bad was going to happen to the girls, Jeremy, or my home. I couldn't stop crying. I finally fell asleep around 6am. Now, I am not one to lose control of myself like that, so I knew something wasn't normal. I talked with my sisters and my doctor. and I found out that post-partum depression can wait to show up til even 4 months later! I'm not saying I have that, but luckily, I have a doctors appointment Tuesday morning. I just want to feel at peace and have some relief. I am trying Kava and St. Johns Wort. I know that this is a common feeling for women with new babies and I feel support with other stories I have read. Just wondering if any other moms out there have experienced it this much later, and how you dealt with it?
Anyways, my life really is great! I'm trying to "weed" out some things in my life in this new year, starting with negative things and people. I am so tired of negativity, and I try to be there for people, but I can't do it if all it is negative. Also, trying to get my body back to pre-baby fit. That is going to be the hardest, since I HATE working out! Oh well...
Hey Jessica, I can't say that I have had any anxiety attacks, but I will say there have been some tough days. My Dr. prescribed me some medication which I didn't get filled, but she is always quick to write a prescription. Our hormones are still probably all over the place and it's just hard to explain. I have read and heard that exercise and getting out of the house are the 2 best things to do. Those are also the 2 hardest things sometimes. I just have to remind myself that anything I go through can only last for a season and that it WILL all be ok in the end - lost of prayer and just trying to enjoy more moments instead of stressing that our A/C unit isn't working - there's laundry piling up and that my house needs to be cleaned terribly...but our babies are happy, healthy and that's most important! Hope this encourages you! I'll be praying for you!
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